5 Reasons to Be Scared of Apple
- Thread starter 2GooD Productions
- Start date
UNORTHODOX
Father Timeless
Love it!! Apple has always been shadey to me. If you use their products you have to use ALL of them, nothing else. I owned an Ipod for about 3 days and realised that. Creative got my money, now its Zune (Very Satisfied, 4yrs and running)
thedreampolice
A backwards poet writes inverse.
Zune is amazing, but you HAVE to use the Zune software. No different that ipod/itunes so I don't get that one.
Apple is brilliant at design and making products that work amazingly great together. Better than anyone else. But they can get a little nuts at times.
Of course then you need to look at
If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...
UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.
Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...
Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.
Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.
Windows XP Air
You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.
OSX Air:
You enter a white terminal, and all you can see is a woman sitting in the corner behind a white desk, you walk up to get your ticket. She smiles and says "Welcome to OS X Air, please allow us to take your picture", at which point a camera in the wall you didn't notice before takes your picture. "Thank you, here is your ticket" You are handed a minimalistic ticket with your picture at the top, it already has all of your information. A door opens to your right and you walk through. You enter a wide open space with one seat in the middle, you sit, listen to music and watch movies until the end of the flight. You never see any of the other passengers. You land, get off, and you say to yourself "wow, that was really nice, but I feel like something was missing"
Windows Vista Airlines:
You enter a good looking terminal with the largest planes you have ever seen. Every 10 feet a security officer appears and asks you if you are "sure" you want to continue walking to your plane and if you would like to cancel. Not sure what cancel would do, you continue walking and ask the agent at the desk why the planes are so big. After the security officer making sure you want to ask the question and you want to hear the answer, the agent replies that they are bigger because it makes customers feel better, but the planes are designed to fly twice as slow. Adding the size helped achieve the slow fly goal.
Once on the plane, every passenger has to be asked individually by the flight attendants if they are sure they want to take this flight. Then it is company policy that the captain asks the passengers collectively the same thing. After answering yes to so many questions, you are punched in the face by some stranger who when he asked "Are you sure you want me to punch you in the face? Cancel or Allow?" you instinctively say "Allow".
After takeoff, the pilots realize that the landing gear driver wasn't updated to work with the new plane. Therefore it is always stuck in the down position. This forces the plane to fly even slower, but the pilots are used to it and continue to fly the planes, hoping that soon the landing gear manufacturer will give out a landing gear driver update.
You arrive at your destination wishing you had used your reward miles with XP airlines rather than trying out this new carrier. A close friend, after hearing your story, mentions that Linux Air is a much better alternative and helps.
Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.
When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"
Apple is brilliant at design and making products that work amazingly great together. Better than anyone else. But they can get a little nuts at times.
Of course then you need to look at
If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...
UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.
Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...
Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.
Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.
Windows XP Air
You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.
OSX Air:
You enter a white terminal, and all you can see is a woman sitting in the corner behind a white desk, you walk up to get your ticket. She smiles and says "Welcome to OS X Air, please allow us to take your picture", at which point a camera in the wall you didn't notice before takes your picture. "Thank you, here is your ticket" You are handed a minimalistic ticket with your picture at the top, it already has all of your information. A door opens to your right and you walk through. You enter a wide open space with one seat in the middle, you sit, listen to music and watch movies until the end of the flight. You never see any of the other passengers. You land, get off, and you say to yourself "wow, that was really nice, but I feel like something was missing"
Windows Vista Airlines:
You enter a good looking terminal with the largest planes you have ever seen. Every 10 feet a security officer appears and asks you if you are "sure" you want to continue walking to your plane and if you would like to cancel. Not sure what cancel would do, you continue walking and ask the agent at the desk why the planes are so big. After the security officer making sure you want to ask the question and you want to hear the answer, the agent replies that they are bigger because it makes customers feel better, but the planes are designed to fly twice as slow. Adding the size helped achieve the slow fly goal.
Once on the plane, every passenger has to be asked individually by the flight attendants if they are sure they want to take this flight. Then it is company policy that the captain asks the passengers collectively the same thing. After answering yes to so many questions, you are punched in the face by some stranger who when he asked "Are you sure you want me to punch you in the face? Cancel or Allow?" you instinctively say "Allow".
After takeoff, the pilots realize that the landing gear driver wasn't updated to work with the new plane. Therefore it is always stuck in the down position. This forces the plane to fly even slower, but the pilots are used to it and continue to fly the planes, hoping that soon the landing gear manufacturer will give out a landing gear driver update.
You arrive at your destination wishing you had used your reward miles with XP airlines rather than trying out this new carrier. A close friend, after hearing your story, mentions that Linux Air is a much better alternative and helps.
Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.
When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"
I say this as a friend but damnnnnnn...anyone ever told you that you over analyze ish sometimes? Its NOT THAT SERIOUS! lol...BUT, one thing is obvious, Chris will stand behind, on top of, to both sides and in front of ANYTHING that he believes in which is very good IMO.
And please, dont contradict anything he's says or this will be another 10 page thread...lol...j/k
And please, dont contradict anything he's says or this will be another 10 page thread...lol...j/k
LOL, Doesn't he remind you of...like the Albert Einstein of all gadgets? (thats a complement) Matter of fact if there isn't an ILL AWARD category for him, we need one.
@Ominous - that ish wass dope in a funny kinda way...lol, that dude is already my pick in the next Beat This.
UNORTHODOX
Father Timeless
Basically the asthetic, I dont FEEL like I have tyo ONLY use their everything, simple. Zune was way more user friendly, I could add songs to library DRM free etc. It wasnt deleting thousands of songs like MANY of my friends have experienced w/Ipod. the beat goes on...
You tried to level the playing field, but it doesnt stop the fact that apple forces its customers to do what they want.
On the brighter side, people need to watch google. They are taking over the world, Watch (Insert conspiracy theory)
thedreampolice
A backwards poet writes inverse.
"Matter of fact if there isn't an ILL AWARD category for him, we need one."
ha ha, I did win like biggest nerd award from ill at one point then I think they just retired the category. lol
No I did not write that, but it does crack me up.
"..BUT, one thing is obvious, Chris will stand behind, on top of, to both sides and in front of ANYTHING that he believes in which is very good IMO.
And please, dont contradict anything he's says or this will be another 10 page thread...lol...j/k"
My family says the same thing, now if I could just get my wife to not contradict me that would be great....
@UNORTHODOX
I totally agree, Microsoft just nailed it with Zune HD if they can get some more app's they will really have something. Have you seen the new Windows 7 phone with Zune and Xbox live integration oh ya!
ha ha, I did win like biggest nerd award from ill at one point then I think they just retired the category. lol
No I did not write that, but it does crack me up.
"..BUT, one thing is obvious, Chris will stand behind, on top of, to both sides and in front of ANYTHING that he believes in which is very good IMO.
And please, dont contradict anything he's says or this will be another 10 page thread...lol...j/k"
My family says the same thing, now if I could just get my wife to not contradict me that would be great....
@UNORTHODOX
I totally agree, Microsoft just nailed it with Zune HD if they can get some more app's they will really have something. Have you seen the new Windows 7 phone with Zune and Xbox live integration oh ya!
I have that same disease...I can say the sky is blue and she'll say NO its carolina blue. I used to plead my case but now I just say OK...lol
thedreampolice
A backwards poet writes inverse.
Wow you have to be the only person in the world who I have heard say that
Take some time to educate yourself.
http://thenextweb.com/mobile/2010/03/16/7-reasons-windows-7-phone-iphone-killer/
http://www.windowsphone7series.com/
http://gizmodo.com/5471805/windows-phone-7-series-everything-is-different-now
Take some time to educate yourself.
http://thenextweb.com/mobile/2010/03/16/7-reasons-windows-7-phone-iphone-killer/
http://www.windowsphone7series.com/
http://gizmodo.com/5471805/windows-phone-7-series-everything-is-different-now
UNORTHODOX
Father Timeless
Hold up what?!! *Starts to pee pants, then Googles*
edit: *Sees post above* lol
Ominous
OminousRed.com
ill o.g.
Battle Points: 21
Korg on the iPad...
http://www.1up.com/do/blogEntry?bId=9026258
Technology is starting to piss me off man...
http://www.1up.com/do/blogEntry?bId=9026258
Technology is starting to piss me off man...
Attachments
wow, someone is going to have their bollox in a vice very soon.
thedreampolice
A backwards poet writes inverse.
2good do you like dr who?
lmao, I did as a kid, and Ive watched one episode of the latest series, but no im not really into Dr Who anymore, its a bit tacky, lol.
The monsters have always been cheap, but now Im older, I think its shit, lol